I read these first two sentences - I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ - of Mahatma Gandhi’s original quote, “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. The materialism of affluent Christian countries appears to contradict the claims of Jesus Christ that says it's not possible to worship both Mammon and God at the same time.” I believe that Gandhi has his own reasons and there is a history as to why he said these lines. I am not against him. I actually respect him and the way he perceives life. The only thing that I’m against with is the way people use this quote against Christians without knowing the real context as to why this quote was written several years ago. And I am writing this not for Gandhi but for people who are so quick to judge Christianity.
I’ve been raised up in a Roman Catholic home and became a born-again Christian when I was 23. The experience that I had during my first few months of my Christian life was unexplainably wonderful. It was amazing that I could impossibly doubt that God is real. I could compare the experience to the initial romantic stage of falling in love. I feel like I could do and take anything because God is with me. But just like romance, the initial feeling of “Christian high” went off. My flaws surface and my eyes were open up to the reality that life is not easy and perfect. And it never was. But though life has always been hard for me, whether I was a Christian or not, I can’t say that I didn’t encounter any difference when I met Christ. I still have my flaws, but I can’t say that I haven’t changed at all.
And for these past years of my Christian life, I discovered that most people are quick to assume that just because Christians don’t always act right, then atheism or other religious beliefs are better than Christianity. But I guess it’s due to their ignorance about Christianity. Though goodness is one of the goals of Christians, Christianity isn’t “merely about trying to be good”. Christianity is “also” about accepting Christ, His salvation, resurrection and eternal life. Christianity isn’t a category of religion where good and perfect people thrive. Christianity is a relationship between God and His people, with Christ bridging the gap between them.
Christians are not flawless and holy people. They are actually sinners only saved by God’s grace. They are ordinary, fragile people called by God from their weaknesses, vulnerability, and brokenness. Indeed they are broken people... broken people “being made whole” through Christ. And that is a process that one has to go through. And though Christians claim that God has transforming power through Christ, God is not like Cinderella’s fairy godmother who will instantly transform broken people into flawless human beings with one wave from a magic wand. Indeed people's lives will change once they encounter God. They don't need to face life alone anymore and they are finally starting to walk their lives with God. But God could only mold a person’s character by allowing him to go through certain circumstances, trials and difficulties in life. It's like gold being refined through fire. However change isn't a blind process. It will require a person's constand and conscious effort and a sense of openness.
I can compare this to a person who's training to leaarn Wing Tsun. First he must unlearn his natural reflex. He can attain this by constantly doing certain exercises. Thus, these exercises will prepare and recondition his body to learn a new reflex. As the person continue to practice them daily, such movements will eventually become his body's natural and automatic reflex. But this too, takes TIME.
Another reason why people seemed to be too quick to judge Christianity is the fact that they had built their own norms, standards, and expectations of what a Christian’s image is supposed to look like. After all, all Christians are ought to be Christ like. They are expected first of all to be nice, soft-spoken, tolerating (which Christians could be misunderstood as being impatient if they’re to do otherwise), no temper (they’ll never get mad), emotionless (they’ll never cry), strong (they can’t be weak since they claim that their God is strong) and most of all, “perfect” (they’re not supposed to make a mistake). But they’re not aware with the fact that Christ isn’t nice, He is kind for He spoke the truth in love. He is gracious but He never compromised with the Pharisees. He didn’t sin, but he got mad. He fed a thousand people but He, Himself, became hungry and thirsty. He is strong, but He wept. He surrendered to God’s will but He expressed His agony in Gethsemane. You see, the difference is that Christ, in His humanity, never sinned and He was perfect. And again, that’s the very reason as to why He came to save the world, because humans aren’t.
Due to such expectations and norms among Christians, it’s easier to put pressure on Christians if they did something wrong than if unbelievers would. After all, unbelievers could easily justify themselves since they “don’t know Christ”. It’s more rational and easier for people to understand that terrorist – with no or little sense of awareness that killing is wrong – kill because they were brainwashed and were trained to kill since they were young than to understand as to why Pastor’s children were one of the most rebellious children, since they grew up in an environment where Christian values are supposed to be taught. I even heard several times that atheists (or other people with religious beliefs other than Christianity) are actually better people than Christians. If the comparison is amongst a certain person or group of people, that could be possibly right. But in general, that isn’t a fact. Though not all Christians are better than atheist, not all atheists are better than Christians either. To put that in the idea of the “expected norms” upon Christians, it’s just easier to appreciate the good deeds of an atheist since they are expected to act otherwise, and it’s easier to notice the flaws of a Christian since they are expected to be good. But if you were to spend your whole lifetime with the both of them, whether they’re Christian, atheist or Buddhist, it’s almost impossible for their flaws not to surface, as well as their good traits. You can’t always assume that one’s attitude is always better than the other based on their beliefs or if they don’t believe in God at all. If Christianity won’t make a person flawless, what makes you think that atheism or other religions would?
As I read my psychology book, I learned that there are several things that make up the personality and traits of a certain person. And that’s when I realized that Christianity itself is not to be blamed on why certain Christians act or react the way they do. If one could actually perceive the real essence of what the Christian teaching is all about, it actually teaches the wisest lessons there is to learn in life. And just because Christians can’t always seem to follow and apply those teachings “all the time”, it is wrong to assume that Christianity itself is a “bad religion”. Christians are just in the process of learning each one of them. The truth is, Christianity has one of the highest standards when it comes to “goodness and righteousness” and has one of the richest and wisest teachings that they often needed God’s wisdom in order to have the right perspective. And I guess that’s the reason why Christians often fail in following everything. And honestly, it’s almost impossible to learn all of God’s word in one day.
Sad to say, even Christians put the same pressure and expectations on themselves. As a result, instead of keeping their testimonies, they tend to put up with their good image or reputation. And since for some, problems and conflicts were almost treated as something inappropriate for a Christian’s life, some Christians hide beneath the mask of a happy face. They portray the Christian life as always happy, successful, problem and conflict free all the time. They don’t even want to risk for the fear of making mistakes. They became man-pleasers instead of standing up for Christ. Instead of introducing the righteousness of Christ, they introduce their own. Also, they missed the point that the Christian life is about growing in Christ and even condemn or judge their fellow Christians. And if Christians were to be condemned for their God-given testimonies, then people don’t really understand why people testify. Christians give testimonies to share what God has done in their lives or how God saved them from their wretched life or how God has helped them make it through the day and not to put up a superficial show that they are living a perfect life. Not all Christians are apathetic as some people may think. Actually, their ultimate goal is to share Christ with the same broken people as they are or had been. And though you can judge a tree by its fruit, you can't always judge a plant not to grow to a good and fruitful tree while it's still in its growing process.
And it’s true Christians are unlike Christ because Christ Himself is perfect. God knows that. I guess that's the exact same reason why He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to the world. Christ came to save humanity from their frailty and not to be a figure that should be compared with them. Christians are so unlike Christ but whether you believe it or not, they are struggling in their everyday life just to be like Him because Christ has called them to do so. And for as long as they live, there’s no guarantee that Christians, in this earthly life, could imitate Christ exactly as He is. But Christians are guaranteed that they will be with Christ in eternity. And the beauty in the Christian faith is the fact that they have Christ to look up to. Unlike other people who put all their faith in prone to failure human beings, Christians have a Christ who will never fail them. And I guess that’s the reason why some people are quick to judge Christianity based on Christians. They don’t see or believe a non-tangible but real Christ, only tangible and real people. Instead of looking up to God, they look up to people. Because of this (add the fact that some Christians just won't stop their masquerades) some people have this tendency to put people on a pedestal. And once their expectations from Christians aren’t met, they have the tendency to withdraw from God. It’s easier for them to blame the God of Christians on why He created such frail humanity instead of trying to understand and accept the paradox of God giving humans their free will while He is still in control of everything. However, I understand the fact that people are only looking for some sort of wholeness in their brokenness and some sort of fulfillment in their empty lives. They do need tangible people to prove to them that their religion can help them do so. You can expect to have such healing and fulfillment from Christianity but that reward will come from God, not from Christians themselves.
I don’t mean to say that Christians should be justified for sinning or for not doing the right thing and Christians should stop doing good and that it is useless to do so. Christians should actually strive to be like Christ and learn to own their mistakes and pay for the “consequences” of their sins as much as other people should. I’m just saying that people, should at least give Christians a room for failure and not judge Christianity or use Christianity to judge just because some Christians don’t always meet their expectations. It’s like judging and stereotyping a whole community just because one or some of them committed a crime.
Truth is, whether you’re a believer of Christ or not, it’s not always easy to resist temptation and do the right thing. It’s easier to seek and lure oneself into pleasure than to step out of one’s comfort zone. And people tend to choose the easier way. They’d rather seek worldly pleasure than have some sort of awareness and deal with the pressures in living the Christian life. And judging Christians for their mistakes is the best excuse for some people to continue living with their fleshly life than to start walking their lives with God.
Solomon is one of the wisest kings that had ever lived. And through the wisdom that God gave him, he was able to write a lot of proverbs that are good for living one’s daily life. But in Ecclesiastes, Solomon expressed how and why he perceived life as meaningless. And in Ecclesiastes 1:18 he stated that, “The greater my wisdom, the greater my grief, to increase knowledge only increases sorrow.” But in Ecclesiastes 2:1-17, he also explained why wisdom is better than folly.
I said to myself, “Come on, let’s try pleasure. Let’s look for the ‘good things’ in life.” But I found that this, too, was meaningless. So I said, “Laughter is silly. What good does it do to seek pleasure?” After much thought, I decided to cheer myself with wine. And while still seeking wisdom, I clutched at foolishness. In this way, I tried to experience the only happiness most people find during their brief life in this world.
I also tried to find meaning by building huge homes for myself and by planting beautiful vineyards. I made gardens and parks, filling them with all kinds of fruit trees. I built reservoirs to collect the water to irrigate my many flourishing groves. I bought slaves, both men and women, and others were born into my household. I also owned large herds and flocks, more than any of the kings who had lived in Jerusalem before me. I collected great sums of silver and gold, the treasure of many kings and provinces. I hired wonderful singers, both men and women, and had many beautiful concubines. I had everything a man could desire!
So I became greater than all who had lived in Jerusalem before me, and my wisdom never failed me. Anything I wanted, I would take. I denied myself no pleasure. I even found great pleasure in hard work, a reward for all my labors. But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere.
The Wise and the Foolish
So I decided to compare wisdom with foolishness and madness (for who can do this better than I, the king? I thought, “Wisdom is better than foolishness, just as light is better than darkness. For the wise can see where they are going, but fools walk in the dark.”Yet I saw that the wise and the foolish share the same fate. Both will die. So I said to myself, “Since I will end up the same as the fool, what’s the value of all my wisdom? This is all so meaningless!” For the wise and the foolish both die. The wise will not be remembered any longer than the fool. In the days to come, both will be forgotten.
So I came to hate life because everything done here under the sun is so troubling. Everything is meaningless—like chasing the wind.”
For me, living the Christian life is hard but I can’t say that my unbelieving life was better. Maybe it was fun and pleasurable but it was never better. It was empty, superficial and my happiness was shallow. I have no sense of direction, no purpose and no life. And I admit that there were quite a few times in my life where I doubted Christianity due to certain, judgmental people. But now, I only see them as a challenge and my fuel to keep on moving forward towards the goal that Christ has set for me.
And why did I choose to accept Christ? I choose to be a Christian not because Christian people are the best, flawless people I’ve ever met. I choose to be a Christian because their God, who is holy and righteous, is a loving, forgiving and compassionate God. I do have conflicts with some of my fellow Christians but they do inspire me to gain new perspectives about life and to gain wisdom by allowing me to experience the difficulties of life through them. Some of them may be judgmental as they are, but I still consider those who are allowing God to work in and through their lives. Some of them might even hate me, but I don’t see Christians as haters in general. I know and appreciate those loving Christians who actually helped me get through when I was about to give up with my life. They’re not perfect but I do thank God for them.
And though in my Christian faith I am aware of the fact that I’m still a flawless person, I know that Christ already saved me from my sins even before I was born. I may be judged because of my past, my failures, or simply because people want to judge me, but I have Christ to lift me up from them. I make mistakes but I learn from them. And though I don’t deal with all my problems perfectly, God had always been giving me the strength to face and confront them instead of escaping them through worldly pleasures. And just because I am not perfect, it doesn’t mean that my faith is dead, I am simply struggling with my life. And I choose to struggle with my Christian life because I discovered that eternal life is better than this temporary, earthly and “meaningless” life. And living through my earthly life with a sense of awareness and with God’s presence is better than walking blindly in the darkness without Him. It’s always best to have a God who can give me a better perspective about my adversity, whom I can place my trust to when things go wrong, and who can give me hope when my situations are hopeless. Most of all, no matter how unlovable I may be and no matter how much other people would hate me, I have a loving Christ who loves me
Finally, after all the struggles that I had in trying to finalize the retreat video, I’m able to export it as one movie. I’m just grateful to those people who researched and responded to my facebook status and helped me fix the “there’s no enough room in the heapzone” problem. I feel so relieved that I finally finished this project but I have to admit, I miss it. I’ve been doing nothing but this project for two weeks straight and now that it’s done, I don’t have anything else to do. LOL! And despite all the struggles, I did enjoy the process of editing and creating the video. It was the first time that I truly felt the spirit of being a craftsman.
